Debate Tourney 10/4/08

Ok, so the majority of you know im in debate. And if you think I have told you of some fucked up shit, you are wrong. Just wait. I am about to make all of you very proud in the creation you have finally released upon the world (J1NX, Darth, Toast, Trick, you all know what I mean ^_^)

Ok first off, id like to tell you about what I do in debate, its CX debate. Or, cross examination debate, 2 people vs. 2 people. And in this debate you run a type of argument called "theory".

Now, a basic theory argument is very ridiculous, its like saying "since my opponent isnt wearing dress shoes, he loses the debate because he is un-educational." Pretty stupid huh? Well its good when your opponents are fucking stupid.


So this is verbatim what my opponent ran:


"Our politics dis-advantage points out how obama is currently behind in polls. Due to this negative poll value for McCain, McCain will have to destroy the U.S. treasury to spend money on alternate energy resources, which will fluctuate the polls in his favor. And then after McCain wins, he is going to create space nuclear weapons, much like the star wars "Death Star", that will create a laser beam with enough power to completely destroy the world."

OK. Step back a moment, realize my opponents were fucking stupid indian bitches. And then realize, this argument makes NO SENSE. Its like saying that McCain is a mastermind genius with the capabilities of "mad-scientist" quantity. UNLIKELY (I dont think hes smart enough).


So, during questioning, I asked my opponent how they planned on doing it, and they responded "we will hire a work force with bio-chemical suits, that can operate machinery in space to create this "death star"."

My next speech, I had a 1 minute grace because I couldnt stop laughing, I looked right at the judge, and responded to their argument:

"Judge, because my opponents have decided that they are allowed to create imaginary weaponry to argue about, we run our theory argument of fictional warrants. Our impact, WE WILL HIRE LUKE SKYWALKER TO DESTROY THE DEATH STAR. Because my opponents cannot find a pilot that can manage a fighter jet as well as Luke, besides Darth Vader, who inherently wouldn't attack his own son (even if capable), THEY DEFAULT THEIR DEATH STAR ARGUMENT BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN PROVEN:

Luke Skywalker > Death Star.

Because their only impact was destroyed, you must vote Affirmative."

you make us so proud

ZOMG I just laughed my balls off!

If only you were around to cross examine after Johnny Cochran's Chewbacca defense.

I know we have found your animated likeness now.
All rise and give your greatest thanks to our one and only
Charles Foster Ofdensen: Manager of Dethklok
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dude omg! that is Fucking amazing!!!